Sweet 16:)

I added 9 more pounds to my ticker, which would bring me down to 129.2. I'm only 5'2, so I want to make sure that I look healthy. Some of the recommendations I've came across on the internet, say I should be at 115. I think that's a bit much. My 7 year old is 60 lbs. lol. I'm not sure why, but when I initially changed my ticker, I frowned. It feels like I just dragged myself back a few paces. I know that's not really what I'm doing. I'm not sure if those 9lbs. will make a difference or not, but I would sure like to find out. The ultimate goal is to live a healthier lifestyle;).

Exercise Log?

I've been searching for a few days now for an online exercise tracker that can be used on my blog but I've found NOTHING! I can't believe that isn't available. I don't want to continue to using my text log because eventually it will be a mile long. I would like something that revolves and looks simple. I'm sick of looking for one!!IF you have one, PLEASE let me know. Thanks!

Dee~

Wow!!!

Weigh-in: 145.3
Weight loss: 2.9!!
Only 9.3 lbs to go:)

I just knew that after last week's weak moment, that I had totally ruined any chance of losing weight. I just wasn't giving a crap for a few days. I beat myself up really hard about it too. Well, as it turns out, exercise really does work!!! I can't believe I lost so much. I was expecting a gain or breaking even. I must have squealed for about five minutes after I weighed in lol. My husband was shocked too;)I actually LOST weight during Thanksgiving week. I didn't think that was even possible. I owe it all to my food scale. If something ever happened to it, I think I would go insane. Its definitely the key to my weight loss success. I don't think I would have gotten this far without it. I really gave it my all with my workouts though(If you look on the left and scroll down a little, you'll see what I did this week). I really hate to cut this short, but I must tend to my family and get some breakfast going. I hope you all enjoy the rest of this long weekend:)

Dee~

I'm truly blessed:)

Today, we all gave thanks for various reasons. I have so much to be grateful for.

An amazing husband and father that loves me unconditionally. He's my best friend and I adore him.

I have four beautiful healthy children that I wouldn't be able to go a day without hugging or kissing. They are my world.

I have a roof over my head and food in the pantry. We all tend to take those things for granted. People in different parts of the world can't say the same......

I have parents who have been married for 30 years and taught me the true meaning of marriage.

I have two siblings who I talk to daily. We've always been close:)

In regards to eating today, I did great!!! Having a food scale really did the trick. I ate 1529 in total today. I feel so happy about that. I prepared everything the healthy way and I even had dessert TWICE. I feel amazing and just plain happy right now. I even exercised earlier. I would never have thought that I would be working out on a holiday!!

Well I'm going to go and enjoy the remainder of the night with my hubby since the kids are asleep. I hope that everyone had a great day surrounded by family, friends, and love:)

Dee~

Sabotage

That's one word to describe what I'm doing to myself and this weight loss journey. For the last two days, I just haven't committed myself to my goals at all. Why with 12 lbs. left, I've decided to do this? Why am I not taking responsibility for my actions? Why haven't I worked out in two days? Why am I doing this???Ughhhhhhh:/ Its like I'm purposely throwing in the towel. What am I afraid of? Is it being "normal"? Is it not being able to hide under my XL winter coat that is too big for me now? I have so many questions about myself but I don't know where to find the answers that I'm looking for. I'm not certain if its the weather that's just throwing me off course(been raining and been stuck home with a sick child), but this isn't a good place to be in mentally. This just freakin' bites! I need to get a grip before this gets out of control........


Dee~

As expected......

Weight: 148.2
1.8 lbs. gained

I have no one to blame and no excuses. I fell off the wagon this week. I nibbled way too much. It is what it is. I'm not going to do wallow in self-pity all week because that won't do me any good. On the plus side, I'm not back in the 150s and I lost an inch on my waist, so those are my NSV(non-scale victories). My goal for next week is to be at 145. I really need to get a grip with my calories and continue to journal. I also want to exercise seven days this week. We'll see what actually ends up happening at my next weigh-in. If I don't challenge myself, I'll never get rid of these last 12 lbs. Well I don't have too much to write at the moment. If that changes, I'll be back;) Enjoy your weekend!!

Dee~

Perfect timing

After complaining about not having any support from my mommy friends with being accountable for our weight, I literally found a challenge hours after I blogged. It definitely must be faith. I NEED this to get these last 10lbs. gone for good. I'm in a Christmas Challenge thanks to 266:) I really have to focus. I've got a feeling that the scale won't be kind to me at tomorrow's weigh-in. I've been on a "nibble" fest all week. I've been nibbling when I make every meal. And knowing that I'm doing so, sadly I continued for the majority of the week. This just freakin' blows. I have been keeping up with exercising though, so I could be in for a surprise. Who am I kidding?? I'm just gonna expect a gain and move on. I'm not perfect. I know what I did wrong. This challenge will get me back on track!! Until tomorrow........

Dee~

Frustrating

I was just thinking about my weigh-in day. I've been weighing in on Wednesdays lately because some of my mommy friends figured they needed the motivation and accountability. Well after a month, they've dropped off like flies. I feel like I shouldn't even bother with tomorrow's weigh-in. (Last week I was the only one who bothered to even post my weight). I think I'm going to go back to a Saturday weigh-in instead. I was hoping everyone would stick it out but it didn't happen:( I've been searching for some sort of weight loss challenge but haven't came up with anything as of yet, so if you know of anything out in blog land, please leave me a comment! "See" you all on Saturday for my next round with the scale.

Dee~

A girl could get use to this!

Weight: 146.4
Pounds lost: 0.9

I haven't had the chance to really blog the last few weeks as I would have liked since life is super busy right now. Parent teacher conferences, getting some Christmas shopping done, everyday errands, and spending time with the kids is a LOT of work. But I think keeping busy also helps me on this journey. I don't have time to say "I can't do this" or "I don't feel like eating that". I'm a planner by default (its in the genes) and I beat myself up if I don't follow through with something. That's goes for every aspect of my life. I'm at the 10 lbs to go mark and I must admit I'm a tad bit afraid that its going to become even more difficult to lose weight the last few weeks. I have read that the last 10 lbs are the hardest to lose. I'm probably going to lose an additional 10 lbs. but I'll access that when I reach my goal. That amount of weight loss can make a huge difference, so we'll see. Passing by mirrors, I almost don't recognize myself if that makes any sense. I'm starting to actually "see" the hard work and dedication. This is an amazing feeling that I don't ever want to go away. In the back of my mind, I will always wonder why did I wait this long to get it together?

On another note, today as you know is Veteran's day. I don't have anyone close in my family that served our nation but I would like to say thank you to those who have and are doing so right now. God bless you!

Happy Hump Day everyone, I hope you enjoy the rest of the week;)

Dee~

Weigh-in and Randomness

Hey guys, I'm back!!Took a little time away from blogging to focus on a few other things.  I'm now the Organizer of my local mommy group so that took some adjusting.  I thought it was going to be somewhat easy but instead its way more time consuming than it appeared to be.  As you know Halloween is fast approaching, so I've also been on the costume hunt for four children.  Talk about exhausting!!

I'm down to 147.5 this week (with hair rollers lol).  I'm very happy that I didn't give up as I desperately considered doing so a few weeks back. I was just pissed over a number even though my clothes were fitting me well and I was receiving compliments on my progress so far.  Its amazing how much numbers on a scale can affect your outlook on life.

 I've been search for a cardio-kickboxing class as my Kettlebell class ends this Sunday, but I haven't had any success in finding one:(Our community center has a ab cycling class at 5:45am on Mondays and Fridays.  I'm really eager to try this out but I'm so NOT a morning person.  I would have to wake up at 5am to be there on time.  Are you kidding me?? As a mom of four, sleep is a very precious thing to me.  I'm not sure what else is available but that time slot is just ridiculous.  I'm looking to try something new to keep me going but I have no clue how to obtain it.  Oh well, I'm sure something will peek my interest soon enough.

 I had Banana Nut Crunch for breakfast today.  I ♥ that cereal!!!! Today is my rest day so I'm going to take a nap later and curl up with a good book tonight after the kids are in bed.  Have an awesome hump day and enjoy the rest of the week!!!

Dee~

Weigh-In and Apology

I want to first start off with the apology. I'm so sorry for my ridiculous negativity on my last blog post. I've reread it a 100 times and I can't believe I actually wrote that. I mean I was just full of anger and hate for myself. I did not like the path I was headed down. Most of you(I assume) are following my blog for support and motivation and I obviously wasn't fit to give you those tools. For that I am truly sorry. I was headed to a really dark place that I didn't like the view of at all. I've worked too hard to just throw it all away I sincerely thank all of you for giving me the courage to keep trying and not give up.

Well after months of scale torture, its finally happened. I stepped on the scale of doom and it said 148.4;2.2 lbs down:;30 lbs gone since starting this blog(Lost 27lbs after the birth of my fourth child)So since October 3, 2008, I've lost 58 lbs!!!!!I broke the curse!! I focused like never before and succeeded. My mini-goal was to get to 149 and I'm there!!!If my children were awake, I think I would screamed but instead I just jumped and celebrated in silence:D Well today starts the kid's fall break, so I'm off to make breakfast and see what the day has in store.  Happy hump day and enjoy the rest of the week!!!

Dee~

Defeated and Done

Well I decided to take a step back from the scale. So for 14 days, I diligently exercised and kept a food diary. You want to know what the scale said this morning?? 150.6. That's right, its not a typo. 150.6. I'm still in the 150s. I've been in this number group since June. I must tell you that I'm to the breaking point. I'm literally busting my ass and this is what I get. Before stepping on the scale today, I had nothing but positive thoughts. My clothes are fitting better, I'm seeing more tone and definition in some areas, yet the scale knocked my clean off my high-horse. I feel stupid for admitting this but as I blog, I'm in tears. I only lost .2 pounds in TWO damn weeks. I could have sat my ass on the couch and did that. I'm to the point where I just want to raid the fridge and eat every bad thing I can get my hands on:(What is the point of being so dedicated to this journey but not seeing the results of my hard work? Why do I take my free time to exercise when I'm basically getting slapped in the face repeatedly?Unless you're on a similar journey, you will never understand my heartache. My husband didn't really know what to say to me this morning. He looked just as pathetic as I did. People tell me often that I motivate them, I'm doing a good job and one person even asked me to help them lose weight. How in the hell am I suppose to be a good motivator when I can't even get the ball moving again on my end?? I'm at the fork in the road and the options are this: on the left I see the healthy path of eating right and exercising; on the right I see the path of going back to that unhappy place and eating whatever the hell I want. I'm telling you right now that the right side is looking mighty good to me right now. Metaphorically speaking, this honestly feels like going to work overtime for months only to find out your not getting paid. I just feel like being done. I'm tired of beating myself up and feeling worn out because the scale keeps telling me I'm never going to reach my goal. I'm never going to be a weight loss success. I'm never going to win this battle.

Dee~

Why?

Something oh so petty has been rattling my brain for days now. Why am I so afraid to go try on a pair of size 8 pants??? My size 10 clothing is super loose on me but I'm just afraid to go there. I feel like if I try them on and I don't fit them or don't like how they look on me, I will end up falling off with my progress:( I feel like a kid going to get a shot at the doctor's office. I just cringe at the thought of putting on those pants and realize that I'm not even close to a size 8. So either I purchase a belt or new clothes. I feel so stupid. When I told my hubby, he said to just try on a pair and get it over with. I'm sure how to get over this little hump of fear because once I decide to take that jump, there's no turning back......

Dee~

Weigh-In, Etc. Etc.

It feels like I haven't been blogging in a long time. Life is just super busy with three of my four kids in school. I *think* I'm finally adjusting to the new schedules, etc. I've also decided to change my weigh-in day to Wednesday from now on. Well this morning I weighed in at 150.8 lbs!!!! I'm very happy about that:) I'm back on track as far as taking care of me goes and I'm keeping a food diary which I believe is helping me tremendously. I recently started taking this Kettlebell class and I must say I love it!! Its hard as hell but imo, if I'm not in pain, its probably not doing its job. It was the most intense 45 minutes ever. A few of the students were whispering things like "she's(the instructor) insane, I'm not coming back to this class, no way". Well, since I paid for this class, I'm invested now and I think that since it works the core, I really need to stick with it. Of course after having four big babies, my core is most definitely my problem area. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm back and that I've missed you guys. I'm going to get caught up on my blog reading by the weekend. I hope everyone has a great hump day and an awesome weekend!!

Dee~

So inspiring

I'm a big fan of this show as I'm sure most of you all are out in weight loss blog land. There's a woman who lost her family in a car accident. She is the one I will be cheering on the most. She deserves a new start in life. Enjoy!

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Weigh-In, Etc. Etc.

This post is going to be relatively short since its a holiday and my little ones want some mommy & daddy time. Well I'm back on track!!FOUR pounds down from last week:) I'm freakin' ecstatic about that. I didn't really know what to think as I saw 151.4...my jaw definitely dropped and I squealed in delight once it set into my mind. I've been running around like crazy getting the kids back-to-school stuff ready. Last week was Malique's(my 7 year old son) info night and this week is my two preschoolers info night. Needless to say I've been sleeping pretty well the last few weeks because I'm constantly on the go. I've been doing the EA Active 30 Day Challenge and I must say it is most certainly a challenge. If you're thinking about getting it, its well worth the investment. Well I hope everyone is enjoying the remainder of the holiday weekend. Have a great week ya'll!!

Dee~

Still around

I just wanted to post a quickly apology for not updating and checking in. Well, I kind of needed a break. I have three kids getting ready to start school and I pretty much fell off the wagon. I'm human and it happens. I really don't feel bad about it, so I'm not going to sit here and have a pity party. It would be pointless. What's done is done, now its time to move forward. I'm not certain as to when I will weigh in next. Frankly, I'm thinking 2 weeks from now might be a good idea. So that I can get rid of the damage I did over the last couple of weeks lol. Well this is the last week before school starts, so I'm trying to get in as much fun stuff as I possibly can before then. Today I'm thinking a bike ride and then another workout during nap time for mommy. I can't believe that today my baby girl is 11 months old:( I kind of got depressed when hubby informed me that WE are done having children. I have been down right bitchy and I'm not certain how to move on. I know its not fair to him but what about me? Every time I try to "move on" I get 2x more bitchy. Being a woman truly sucks sometimes. Well I'm hoping that by jumping back into my fitness routine, I'll get over the bright idea of having another baby because hubby isn't going for it:( Well I need to get the kids breakfast and continue on with my day. Enjoy your holiday weekend everyone!!

Dee~

119.5

That number has been on my mind ever since I weighed in yesterday using my Wii Fit Board. Apparently, this is the weight I should be at for my height which is 5'2. My goal is 136. I would have a healthy BMI of 24.9 I believe. Why isn't that good enough?? I don't know if I have it in me to get down to 119. I mean seriously, after I gave birth to my fourth child in Oct. '08 I weighed 206. Now I'm at 150. IF I chose to reset my goal to 119, that would be 87 lbs. lost. I'm not trying to say I'm a super model but where are these additional pounds going to be coming from?? My hubby is already complaining about my tush "saying goodbye":(. I honestly don't know what to think about that number. Why is it bothering me so much? Why am I questioning my personal goal because of what some piece of technology said?? UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Weigh-In, Etc. Etc.

Okay, I'm like pissed and happy all at the same time. I got on the scale twice just to be sure. I'm 150.1, 2.4lbs down from last week!!! For some reason, I desperately want out of the 150s but apparently the scale says this is not the week for that lol. I'm so happy though that I'm doing this. I'm actually on the verge of completing a lifestyle change. I'm actually going to be healthy and not wake up everyday feeling like I need to just stay in bed and hide. I've never had so much self-confidence in years. I've always had it in me to lose the weight but I just was stuck in "I don't feel like doing this" mode since I met my husband and started gaining that "happy love weight". My mom insists that I've lost enough weight but I'm just not satisfied until I'm at a healthy BMI. Some people tell me that the numbers don't matter. Well it does when your Dr. tells you that your unhealthy and being that I have a family history of diabetes, I seriously needed to do something about my weight. I've got a feeling that these last 14lbs. will give me a run for my money so I better continue on with my food diary and exercise log(that reminds me I should start posting that here for accountability). Thank you so much to those of you who continue to support me on this journey. I know that I wouldn't have gotten to this point without you. Well, motherhood calls!! Have a great week everyone:)

Dee~

Weigh-In, Etc. Etc.

I want to start off by apologizing for those of you who may have been wondering if I fell off the face of the earth. My parents left today after visiting for 2 weeks. I didn't really have much time for the internet world since I hadn't seen them in over 3 years. It was an awesome visit and they did so many great things for their grand kids. We are already discussing plans for Christmas, YIPPEE!!! I pray that the visit would go well and God answered my prayers:)I was so spoiled while they were here that its gonna be a very long week getting back to "normal".:(

Anywho, I still worked out and kept up with my fitness routine despite caving in to some of my mom's down south cooking. Cabbage, red beans and rice, Rice Krispy treats, etc. The woman has still got it!! I posted my weigh-ins on the left and I'm very happy that I'm weighing less than what I was before my parents arrived.

152.6!! WOOT! WOOT! I'm so close to the 140s I can taste it. Its gonna be on this week. I absolutely REFUSE to be in the 150s next week. I plan to work out twice a day for the next week or so because that's just what I think it may take to lose 2.7 lbs this week. But I will definitely do it the safe way. My mom suggest a "soup diet". As much as I love soup, I don't think I can do that for an entire week!!

Well, I must go now since I have laundry to put away and four little rugrats to get fed. Have a great week everyone!!!

Dee~