Friday, December 11, 2009


This week has been absolutely horrible. It started when the snow came, the van had a flat, and a few days later, we had to replace the car battery. Along with those little obstacles, I thought that I was going to be receiving some life changing news. Well the good news turned out to be not so good news, I ate and ate and ate and then cried cried cried. Why did I let my emotions take over? I haven't exercised since Monday. I'm so disappointed in myself. I totally lost control. I just blew it. I don't know why I'm getting so close to my goal and then taking a billion steps back. What the hell is wrong with me??Why can't I get a grip all of a sudden??How can I call myself a role model to my children??I'm just plain angry. Its also that time of the month. Just great. Just what I need. Bloating, mood swings, and fatigue. None of which are helpful at this point. I just feel so out of whack. I honestly don't know how to pick up the pieces. I can't believe one little thing has done so much damage:/



Shelley said...

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, Dee. And it being that time of the month certainly doesn't help! Hang in there - it's bound to get better.

266 said...

I haven't checked your blog in a couple of days so I just read this... sorry I'm a bit late to reply.

You are being too hard on yourself! We are human beings with very complex emotions and there is nothing wrong with feeling slammed due to a single event. Feelings are often genuinely tough to get through.

There is nothing wrong with taking it easy on yourself to build up your energy/motivation and then coming back at this full boar. Are you worried about not making it to goal by Christmas? I don't know you, but that is the impression I have. So... let it go. Honestly, who cares if you don't make it in the... what?... ten or so days left till the main holiday? What does it matter?

Please don't misunderstand... I am not suggesting you pull a 180 and start gorging on every conceivable holiday cookie you see, but remember to be realistic. If having this goal 'due' in such a short time is providing extra stress to your daily life (and, thus, adding to the severity of how you react to the disapointments which seem to be bombarding you right now) than change it. Simple. Is it achievable by mid-January? Probably. So why not make that your goal instead? Whose rules are these, right?! :)

Again, I'm not saying let go of the general aim towards better health; certainly you can make much better choices than you have in years past. But, treat yourself as you would treat another vulnerable individual going through a rough patch... with grace, understanding, and forgiveness. Hugs to you!

jo said...

Quit being so hard on yourself!!!

Most of this sounds like hormones. Life stuff gets in the way, and there are always stressful times.

You're human, give yourself a break!


Tricia said...

Hope youre doing better!